a list of things to discuss before marriage (or even a committed cohabitating relationship). Study the list.
It still amazes me how many people get married and don’t discuss the most basic of things, instead they assume their partner thinks or believes a certain way. This is a good list (though some other things could be added as well), but it is important to talk about the details, not just gloss over the questions. For the most part, there are no right or wrong answers — just different. (if the answer to how children will be disciplined is to tie them up and deprive them of food for 2 days, then that is definitely wrong). Again for the most part, not right or wrong in general, but there is a right and wrong for you. What is important is that there is agreement on the important things.
After studying the list, choose 8 and discuss the reasons why you think these can cause real problems in relationships if there is not agreement. You will actually “choose” 5, because you must discuss 1. money, 2. unpaid work around house (chores and child rearing responsibilities), 3. how each of you will relate to your own and your partner’s relatives. After these 3, choose 5 others. Money is the number 1 source of arguments in marriages and chores and childrearing is number 2.
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